Sorrow - Worries - Fears - and Gratitude

I've been seeing a counselor / therapist for about 3 years, discussing various aspects of my life and how I could make changes etc. Sometimes I felt as if I were just complaining and not getting much accomplished between each session. Since last year's cancer diagnosis, our conversations have changed to how I'm feeling, how I'm coping with stress, how my illness is affecting others, and what I want to do with the remaining time I have.

Yesterday I mentioned to her that some people have said minimizing my troubles isn't good, that I should feel free to wallow in my sorrow and worries. I said I don't feel that I'm minimizing, I just recognize how fortunate I am - in the midst of the unluckiness of being that woman who has this rare cancer. 

I am fortunate because I have a loving, supportive husband to help me navigate all of this. My life would be so much more difficult if I were single. 

I am fortunate because I have a terrific brother and in-laws and stepchildren. We haven't told the kids about my recurrence - waiting to see if treatment works - but they've been a joy in my life for the past 19 years. 

I am fortunate because I have good health insurance that pays for almost everything. I am fortunate because I live in an area that's close to my treatment centers. And in a part of the country that's filled with beauty to remind me how wonderful this earth is.

I am fortunate because I've felt so well most of the time. This year's chemotherapy is much tougher than last year's, but I still feel pretty good most days except for the week directly following chemo. I'm still working full time, keeping busy, and getting on with life. 

This morning I heard about a man who's battled cancer four times and is still filled with gratitude for his life and the people around him. He's got a campaign going called "21 Days of Thankfulness," which starts November 4 and runs through Thanksgiving Day, November 24.  The premise is that every day for 21 days, write a note (he writes his on napkins) to someone to express gratitude for that person being in your life.  His website is here . His Facebook page is here .

I have a lot of blank notecards. I've saved them for years, thinking that "someday I'll start writing letters again." Someday may not come for me. Now is the time to start. I have many gratitude notes to write. Longer than 21 days' worth. I might start today. 

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