If I'm Dying, Why Don't I Feel Like it?

If the new chemo treatments don't work, Dr T said I probably have less than a year to live. Maybe just 6 months.

That seems unbelievable to me, because most of the time I feel healthy. A few aches and pains, this week I have a dry cough and throat, but I don't feel as if I'm dying. I'm working full time, getting things done around the house, running errands, and just living my life as usual.

"Dying in 6 months" sounds as if I should be limited in my activities, having multiple days where I don't feel well, lethargic, disinterested in life. And that's just not what's happening.

"This Cancer is Going to Kill You"

Circle shows worst lung tumor, next to heart

Or maybe Dr T said, "You will die from this cancer." I don't remember the exact phrasing, but the meaning is the same. This was yesterday, after he'd reviewed the results of my recent lung biopsy and CT scans, which showed multiple lung nodules and two lesions in my abdomen.

He said probably in less than a year without more treatments. Going back into treatment may buy me some more time, but it's not guaranteed. But I have to try.

Radiation first, just five days of it to shrink the lung tumors. This may reduce my pain and help me breathe easier. Then, more chemo. The regimen is going to be harsher this time. He said I probably won't tolerate it as well as the first time.