This Chemo is Rougher Than the Last

Last year I went through 4 months of chemo treatments. The last one was on December 31, 2015. I really wanted to end it in 2015. Started the new year with that over - so I thought.

The first chemo regimen treated me kindly. I didn't have the nausea or vomiting that seems to be common with a lot of chemo drugs. I tolerated it all well - had some down days, some side effects that weren't pleasant - but I kept working full time through out that, missing just one and a half days at the very end.

This new chemo drug, trabectedin, is not so nice. I've only had the one infusion so far, but already I can tell it's going to be more trouble.

The infusion started on Thursday afternoon and ended Friday afternoon. I felt fine those days, but by Saturday morning I could barely get out of bed. I probably slept 20 hours that day. And I remember that afternoon a thought crossed my mind - "I'm going to die." It was a random statement, just floating through my semi-consciousness as I lay under the covers in bed. It was peaceful. Not traumatic. I was nauseated so took some Zofran which had been prescribed to me for last year's chemo treatments, but had never used.

Sunday was better, I went from bed to sofa in the family room and back to bed, back to sofa. In the morning I took some more Zofran and later had a protein shake, which was fine.  By evening I felt more awake. I still was not eating or even drinking much. I knew I should keep hydrated but had to force myself to drink water. Late that evening, about 11 pm, I told my husband I thought I could eat something. He made scrambled eggs, which smelled delicious and tasted great - and then I promptly vomited it all into the kitchen sink. Took some Compazine, which is heavier duty than Zofran, and then went to bed.

Monday morning - almost back to normal. Went to my job, felt pretty much ok, continued on with my week. My digestive tract wasn't working properly - seemed as if my colon had just gone offline - and I felt bloated and didn't want to eat much. That went on until Saturday, October 1, when I forced  a clean-out by drinking 10 ounces of magnesium citrate, which is an over-the-counter drink from grocery stores or pharmacies. It's horrible tasting, but it works. Took time - about 7 hours - but finally my intestines weren't gummed up anymore.

The 2015 regimen developed into a rhythm and I got used to just settling into the infusion room at the chemo clinic, with books and my iPad to keep me occupied. Warm blankets and a fairly quiet atmosphere let me doze off frequently. I saw others who seemed more affected by their chemo treatments than I was, walking slowly to their chairs while telling their nurse about vomiting and weakness, and I felt fortunate that I wasn't having those problems.

I'm not looking forward to my next trabectedin infusion. I'm rather dreading it, actually. I don't like sleeping for two days, and then feeling sluggish for a week. But this drug seems as if it might be my only option now - so the side effects are the price I pay for a bit of hope.